This is my very first guest blogger!! She writes, on her own blog, about the difficult recovery process as a recent survivor of sexual violence. I think it is so important that we, as survivors, feel empowered to speak candidly about our experiences and feelings. Sexual violence is a crime that aims to silence it's victims and being able to speak out, if we want to, can be very helpful to a healing process. So, without further ado, an entry from A Rape Recovery Journal:
On June 2nd, 2013 I was raped.. and I am okay.
I
have
been writing that same sentence down over, and over, and over again for
five
months. It has been somewhat therapeutic for me. Sometimes I need that
little
reminder that I am okay, and I will be okay.. it will just take some
time, and until then I am choosing to focus on the things that make me
happy.
It has
been a long five months for me; quiet possibly that hardest five months of my
life. I find it funny when people talk about how emotional “the average”
teenage girl is, because they clearly have not had to put up with a teen girl
that has been raped.
I think
a lot of my emotions have come from confusion, and not having answers. The day
after my rape I remember asking my sister how I was supposed to feel, she told
me there wasn’t a specific emotion I should be feeling. That made me mad. So incredibly
mad. I was mad at her for not telling me what to do. I was mad at myself for
being so confused. Most of all I was mad at my rapist for putting me in this
situation.
However,
lately I have been trying to look at the positive. I have been so down in the
dumps lately that one morning I woke up and didn’t even recognize myself. I had
not been the person that I want to be.
I have
to remind myself that I am not the only one who is unhappy. Everyone has
something to be upset about. I am doing my best to dwell on my happy days
rather than my sad days. I have been doing the things that make me happy, and
trying to be happy doing the things that don’t.
I have
been trying to turn this tragedy into a learning experience. I’ve been trying
to come out of this depression by looking at life differently. I have been
using more positive words: awesome, amazing, beautiful, great, precious, fun,
smile, laugh, love, fresh..
It’s
okay to let this experience change me as long as it’s for the better. Life is
about change and adaption. I am doing my best to move on from the past and
dwell on the happy in my life.
-From A Rape Recovery Journal
-From A Rape Recovery Journal
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